Today was quite an interesting day and full of unexpected surprises. I surprised myself by getting out of bed and going to my group therapy appointment. I surprised myself grandly by remembering the correct bus number I needed for my transfer. I surprised myself by agreeing to lunch with my parents afterwards, even though all I wanted to do was go home and curl up for a nap. I surprised myself even further by ordering REAL coffee (in other words avec caffeine, oh horrors!) and by thanking the handsome brown waiter for bringing brown sugar to the table. He asked if I needed any more and I surprised myself by declining the offer, saying I had enough right there. Maybe I shouldn't have said it quite like that or looked at him quite that way but then sometimes I surprise even me. Surprise! I wonder if the laughter I heard behind me directly after that was about the faux pas I had committed or some other amusing incident. Life is so full of surprises and I was glad I had made time for my family as we enjoyed a long leisurely lunch together and I stuffed myself with too much delicious food. I came home and spent hours working on a letter of intent that I had been putting off for two days. I was quite surprised that I spent that amount of time on it after I'd finished and I downright shocked myself by re-arranging my resume to match the letter. It's amazing what the day can bring when we least expect it. I have a sense of accomplishment in a task well done and I'm excited to hear the reply I'll get. I'm competing with almost one hundred people for a class that is in high demand and is only held twice a year with a high price tag as well.
The crying I did yesterday has eased the pain somewhat and I can distract myself much the same as one would a fractious toddler. The thought of creating a new future is daunting but also attractive as well. I wasn't expecting to enjoy today as much as I did when I was contemplating just pulling the covers over my head and calling it quits after a fitful night of tossing and turning. Thankfully, my house mate dropped her hair dryer six or seven times on the hardwood floor around the time I was making that momentous decision and I knew I wouldn't get any more rest that morning. So, I went to class. I had a great lunch. I enjoyed the dessert bar, even though I mostly only looked at it. I ate my traditional red jello with my chopsticks as usual and read my fortune while rolling my eyes. As usual. So somewhere in the usual routine of everyday life are tucked little surprises like love notes from a friend, urging us to keep going. Smile though your heart is breaking...I think the songwriter wrote. Today, I smiled.
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