This is absolutely brilliant. I'm pretty sure world peace and harmony among nations is mentioned in there somewhere. If you recognize yourself anywhere in these rules, be ashamed. Be very ashamed.
It's truly amazing how adults can behave like children and I can say that from experience because I have been a child and someday I firmly and resolutely propose that I take steps of immediate and considerable action, after much serious consultation with the appropriate groups to poll the public's reaction and then hire a team of attorneys to explain it all away....where was I? O yes. I will cough cough...one day...If I have to...grow up. [Uncross my fingers and take them from behind my back.]
A youngster (names withheld to protect the innocent) and I had a very enlightening conversation today about the peculiarities of the adult world and how children can survive the many pitfalls that await them. I think the rules go something like this:
1. If I tell you that you broke it, you did.
2. If I thought I was going to catch you stealing, but I didn't, you did it. Cuz that is something I would have done when I was your age.
3. If I didn't catch you at it but I'm in a really bad mood, you're in trouble anyway so start running.
4. If a sibling tells on you and they're lying but they are always believable, refer them to a career in journalism.
5. If you didn't do it but feel the need to rat on someone who might have, you will get found out.
6. If you are honest with me and I just don't want to admit it because I'm a grown up and I don't like to apologize, don't hold your breath. Then again, miracles do happen. Sometimes.
7. Plot your own evil, nasty, hateful things to say to your children so when they come along, they can keep the family tradition alive and well.
8. Completely ignore any pearls of wisdom that might come from the mouth of babes cuz you forgot them.
9. Always, always, hold a grudge and keep a calendar to be sure you're up on your daily reminders.
10. Ignore all of the above and play nice.
Feel free to share this with children of any age.
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