Words to Live By...Maybe

They used to tell us as children, not to put batteries in our mouth or touch them with our tongue to see if they were still good.  Definitely don't stick your hand in the light socket and never, NEVERput a plastic bag over your head.  All of those things could really hurt and/or kill you. Hmmmm.
I have recently discovered that the lithium ion batteries in my digital camera share a common ingredient with a mood stabilizer I've come across called Lithium.  This piqued my curiosity so naturally, I went online to find the many uses of lithium.  If I was low on energy,for instance, lithium and its hydrides are used as high energy additives in rocket propellant so that might come in handy.  That would make me more like the Energizer Bunny if I took it, theoretically.  Or should I just pop open my camera periodically and take a hit?  I guess the next time I visit my psychiatrist I'll just ask for the usual lube, oil and filter and a refill for my lithium battery.  Do you take coupons from Canadian Tire?  Speaking of tires, lithium can also be used to create a bright, red color for safety flares on the highway in case of a flat.  I wonder how high a dosage that would require to really be effective.

Maybe on days when my coffee isn't quite perking me up, I'll try sticking my finger in the light socket....just to see.  Might be something like electric shock therapy in the privacy of my own living room; I'd just have to have a friend or neighbor standing by to make sure I recover full consciousness after my "treatment".  Think of the savings.  Think of the excitement.  People could quit renting movies and checking out youtube to see weird stuff.  They could just come over to my house every night after dinner.  Then we could all hang out and have dessert, talk about the good old days when getting buzzed meant being called to the principal's office or eating over ripe bananas.  

As for the plastic bags over our heads, that's pretty much a worry of the past; instead of the danger of choking and getting all red in the face, we've switched to recycled fabric and gone "green".  It's supposed to be good for us to re-use these bags to cart raw meat home one week and mangoes the next.  Oh,wait a minute!  This just in... research has shown that leftover germs can cause food poisoning when using this earth-friendly routine leading to side effects such as stomach pains, food poisoning, gas, bloating, intestinal discomfort and occasional death.  Sounds to me like I'll take my chances with the plastic bag...now that I'm an adult and my grown children don't seem to be at any risk of suddenly popping a plastic bag overhead "just to see".

I guess one man's poison is another man's cure...it's just getting difficult to tell which is which and I'm still in shock.